Truth About Your Own Self

Photo By: Zoya Dhanji

In the last blog, I spoke about the many ways you can occupy yourself to get through quarantine. I would like to know which one stuck out to you the most? 

In my experience, when in doubt: Journal. Might sound weird, but allow me to elaborate.

Have you ever heard of an individual typing up an angry email and never clicking “send to recipient” ? Yes, I have too. Why do people feel the need to do this? Because it relieves stress. You tend to build up lots of pent up anger and high levels of energy as the stress level increases. Relieving stress can be  done in several ways by finding positive outlets, such as writing an angry email, or journaling. 

When you write the email, of course to be saved as a draft and not sent, your level of anger decreases, and you feel as if you said everything that needed to be said to the recipient. Journaling is the same thing. How, might you ask?

Journaling is another outlet, another way to write out all of your anger, stress, pressure from life and all the negativity that surrounds us as well as the positivity in your life.

We’ve all heard our family and friends tell us...“if you don’t talk about how you’re feeling to someone or at least to yourself, then it will begin to slowly build up, which will lead to a lot of little things growing into something bigger, which then results in you exploding”. 

Do you really want to be that person who contains everything and then explodes on the people you love? You say you won’t do it, but trust me you will. We tend to harm the ones we love most because they are the ones we are the most comfortable with. Maybe they’ll understand or maybe they won’t. But it is up to you to make it fair on them, so keep your mind at ease, mate.

Journaling is a stress reliever because once you write out how you are feeling, whether positive or negative, that energy has left your body and has been released onto the paper. So go ahead, and start. Don’t worry, if you end up smiling or crying while doing so because this is your private time, your alone time. Your ME time. 

You, as an individual on this earth, are making history. Document it.

So, grab something to write on. Find a comfortable spot in your home.

This can be your bedroom, the floor of your bathroom, a closet, backyard, pool side, wherever you can find comfort and a moment of peace. 

I will emphasize this again, be HONEST with yourself.

Let me tell you, the expectation of others to help you will not come and it shouldn’t. As my sister always told me, “never expect things from others, only yourself. Because at the end of the day, you can only rely on yourself to feel better, no one else can do that for you. It’s all in there [as she points to my head and heart]”.

I live by this because through my own life experiences, this quote has always proven to be true. So, learn to depend on yourself for the betterment of your mental health. Learn to succeed in getting to know yourself better, this way you learn how to handle your own mind and the way it begins to process things. 

Learn to read yourself, learn to engage and become in touch with your own emotions. Don’t try to be the ‘tough guy’ and say you’re handling it, because I know you aren’t. 

Trust me, being ‘tough’ in my book is someone that actually becomes in touch with their reality. Reality = getting  in touch with your emotions (yes, this is towards you, because I know some of you tend to do this, and it is ok. Make the change for YOURSELF now)

If you are not an individual who is like the one described above, then I applaud you and I believe you are handling yourself pretty well. 

This is the part in your life when being selfish is needed. Selfish with knowing how to handle your own emotions. 

Photo By: Mom 

Journaling has made me become more in touch with myself and has made me realize that things really aren't that bad. It has helped me clear my mind of all negativity that surrounds me. Realistically, yes those things will usually never leave your mind. But writing it down will give you a sense of clarity.

Really ask yourself from a general point of view, of course all feelings are VALID. I’m not disregarding them and I never will, but seriously. 

If you have been through something in your life that has been so traumatic that it never leaves your mind, then help yourself. Help yourself to learn to forgive what has happened, forgive the individuals that have ever hurt you because I promise you, it will give you a clear mind. You can move on and say you were the bigger person. Moving on does make you the bigger person. But I will say this, you can forgive (it will clear your mind), but you never have to forget. This is what will make you strong. 

Now, use that pen and put it to work. Become the bigger person I know you are. Yeah babe, YOU. 

On the first page of your journal/diary, write this down: 

1. Your word of the year, yes your new year's resolution my friends. 
1. Why? This is a goal you had in mind, now stick to it or you’ll just let yourself down. DO NOT let yourself down. 
2. "How am I feeling on a scale of 1-10 today?” 1 being the worst and 10 being the best. 
1. Be truly honest with yourself. I promise you no one else will see the number you wrote, except for you.
2. Once you choose a number, Tell me why you are feeling this way, or in this sense ask yourself why. 
3. If you picked a number between 1-5, I’m sorry you’re having a bad day, but I hope you wake up tomorrow feeling so much better. Remember, try to wake up everyday happy because the next day is always a new day. It's another day of you being here on this earth, which is a blessing. It’s not a bad day until something bad happens. Believe it, really, YOLO. 
4. If you picked a number between 6-10, I’m so happy you’re having a good day, or at least somewhat of a good day. Keep up the positive energy!   

Now, on a page write all of the negative things that happened to you today (can be as little as someone running into you and not saying sorry), and on the next page all of the positive things. Now, reflect. 

Do this every day, every week, and you will begin to see the bigger picture, your bigger picture. Write goals for yourself. Goals do not only have to correlate with career goals and image goals, lets say, but the goal I am really talking about here, is the goal of helping your mind become at ease. The goal to relieve your stress and tension. Mental health, this is the ultimate goal (on the side of physical health, of course). Become in tune with yourself, because if you expect others to understand you, then you have to understand yourself first. 

Writing these things down will help you generalize, and think “do all of these negatives really outweigh the positives?” NO honey, it's the other way around. Even if there are three negatives, and one positive, the positives always outweigh the negative. Things can always be worse.

Prove to yourself that you do have what it takes to get out of bed, start your day with productivity and end it on a happy note.

When you write down your thoughts and feelings, and then re-read it, you begin to help yourself understand your mind, and where your thoughts are coming from. Really try to dissect it. While re-reading your journal, which I completely recommend, ask yourself, “why did I write this, why am I feeling this way?”

Trust me, there usually is some deeper meaning, but sometimes your answer for why is just above the surface. It is easy to grasp. 

Steps:

1. Grab something to write on and a Pen/Pencil.
2. Write down your word of the year. 
1.  Ask yourself, why was this my word to begin with? There was obviously a reason.
3. Write down your negatives and positives of the day.
1. What has happened towards you.
2. What is happening in your mind.
4. Reflect
1. How can you overcome the challenges in your life? The ones from the past and present. 
2. How can you improve your life in order to self progress?
3. Self evaluate- no do not judge yourself ever, just evaluate your thoughts. Come to peace with your day, come to peace with your mind and thoughts. Then, and only then, can you conquer the next day. Remember? It is always one step at a time, or in this case one day at a time. 
5. What can you work on?
1. Focus on the areas of your life that might need some love and attention right now. 
2. What are you grateful for and what are your new goals?
6. Re-read what you wrote, and ask yourself why?
1. Dig deeper into the meaning. 
7. Conquer today, this day. Then you can move on to the next, make it your goal. Trust me, I’m not saying it to say it. I’m saying it because I care.
8. Lastly, do one thing for me and yourself, write a letter to yourself before starting. In this letter, mention why you make yourself proud, what you want to work on, what goals you have for the future, and what makes you happy. Your thought process changes over time, when ready, please read the letter to yourself and notice your self-progress

Until next time, Z 

XOXO